Hidely Ho Neighbor! What the fuck is up with your hair?

Well, Hidely fuckin’ ho neighbor! It’s been a while. I’ve been off doing this and that but I always wander back to my Snowfly7 roots where I am most happy . Good ‘ol Snowfly7, a full on by myself, bullshit free zone. It’s fabulous here and I can let my inner crack head (figuratively, not literally) self run free. A LOT has changed in the past year, been cruising along with Empower, Launched my dream career as a life coach, which, if you’re reading this, you might be thinking “I am NEVER calling her. EVER”. And that would be okay, because I know and you know that what works for one may not work for another. I have a part in a film – seriously, no kidding I really do – we moved, I kicked lupus’s ass……..and I put dready dread locks in my hair. I look like this now … Continue reading

Summer, home school and getting organized (Rated S)

Okay, so organization is NOT my strong suit. Never has been. But here’s what I discovered this past week….. I need to get myself that way QUICK like a bunny. Because this morning I was all too relieved to get the kids on to the bus. This is a common theme among parents right after spring break. We get really excited that our kids have a week off and by the end of the week, we’re about ready to tear our hair out! I’ve never been very good at being consistent so we have to do constant reprogramming. I realize I bring this upon myself. But summer is fast approaching and not only that, but (and we’ll know tomorrow) we’ve applied our girls to a virtual academy for next year (similar to home school) so June 6th 2013, may very well be there last day of public, brick and mortar … Continue reading

Of butt divots and goose eggs

Oh, my sweet, sweet Zoe. That poor child has the curse of being exactly like me. I had the curse/blessing of being exactly like my mom… and you know what that means. We either get along great and have whole entire conversations about the people around us with our eyes…or we can’t be in the same room together for 30 seconds without blowing up.   Well this weekend we had  different kind of bonding time…it was sort of awful…but still somehow brought us closer. So, Friday evening Zoe was up on the counter helping me make brownies (and for those of you going “hey nice paleo diet faker!!!”  I would just like to say that I only ate one spoonfull of mix so thhhhhhhhhppppppppppppp! – It was for the kids!)  Anyway…..just as she scooted off of the counter, I opened up the drawer just below her and her poor little … Continue reading

New Underpants – Rated S

So The girls each got a couple of new packs of underpants yesterday. Which is AWESOME ’cause they needed them. I have no idea where little kids underpants continually disappear to….okay that’s a lie, I know exactly where they disappear to…but it’s too disgusting to mention. Okay, I’ll mention it: She weighs 82 lbs, black fur, white feet, has big brown eyes and eats every disgusting thing under the sun….that’s right…it’s the underpants snarfing Labrador. So, anyway, back to the new underpants, since I’ve already cleaned the old underpants up in those awesome little green baggies, you know the kind you wear like a glove so you can have just slightly more dignity than picking it up with your bare hands, when the neighbors watch you bend down and pick up shit (well orange and white striped shit because it’s mostly underpants). Soooooooo….anyhoo…..Since they realized they now have a drawer … Continue reading

Spammers. Picking on the Dingbats Because It’s FUN

Ok, so you all know how much fun I like to have at Spammers expense…. Well, this one is going to be particularly fun because these spammers seem to have a fetish with something really gross….I’ll give you a hint….all moms have had to deal with this in some form or another! Our first comment is from Darlene Spammers who writes : “It’s difficult to find educated people for this subject, but you seem like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks” I would like to take this moment to share with you the blog post that Darlene has commented on Poop Ninja Fail Why Yes! Yes Darlene, I am quite well versed in the nuances of all things poopish. I am a mother of two. I watch a 2 year old 5 days a week and have two large labs that need to be walked 2 or 3 times … Continue reading

How To Cure a Potty Mouth – Rated S

I have no clue how to cure a potty mouth. I was hoping you did. I’ve gotta be honest here. I’ve got Ralph beat as far as being a soap connoisseur. Well, not recently, but my potty mouth and therefore my relationship with soap began at the ripe age of 8. Maybe as early as 6, but 8 is as far back as I can remember (unless you count the timeout I got when I was 2 for one too many “no’s” – no idea why I remember that, but clearly it didn’t stick). And while my 7 year old is really good about following rules, and gets on my case when I let certain bombs slip, the 6 year old has been known to drop a “Bullshit” or two when she thinks no one is listening. The thing is…you would probably be surprised who I picked up the potty … Continue reading